I was running my NMR samples in the lab one day and I had a few minutes left to run my last sample. Time was tight but I was sure that I could have done it before the time was up for the next user to run his samples. When I wanted to put in my last sample, the next user who was already there in the lab said in an aggressive tone, "No, no, NO! YOU can't do this now! I WANT to run my samples as well!", as if this was not enough, he jabbed and pointed while shrieking at me. I get your point many times over dude. (-.-")
Totally offensive. And this is why people need to learn and develop effective communication skills, so that ideas and meaning can be conveyed clearly without the need to be aggressive.
To me, good communication skills simply mean mutual respect for one another. This can be shown through many aspects of communication, for instance, body language, tone and manner of speaking, listening and even thought process. Body language includes maintaining good eye contact, the positioning of your body and head, your actions, facial expressions and so on. All these are forms of non-verbal communication. For example, keeping eye contact and leaning forward indicate to the speaker that you are being attentive.
Next significant aspect of communication is the tone and manner of speaking. I think this is especially important as wrong ideas can be interpreted if one uses a wrong tone to convey his meaning. Referring to the scenario at the top of the post, I understand that the person might be anxious to complete his task on time but judging from his rude behaviour, it shows that there is still much room for him to improve on his effective communication. To avoid any misunderstanding, I think it is essential to learn to speak with an appropriate tone and express our messages and feelings correctly.
To have a better understanding of the message being conveyed in words and actions, it is important to listen with your ears and see with your eyes. Some people tend to hear things but never listen. Sometimes hearing is not enough because you will tend to forget what is being said easily. Therefore, we need to practise active listening! This is an interesting article that I have found, entitled 'Seven DEADLY sins of (NOT) listening'. Click here.
Developing communication skills is important to me because firstly, I think I have committed a few of the 'deadly sins'. :p I believe many of us know the right way to communicate. Sometimes, it just takes a lot of practice to do it well. So do I. :) Having good communication skills will allow me to build closer ties with my friends and family, build stronger rapport with people and create a bigger network of friends in school and in the workplace in future. Possessing effective communication skills can also contribute to building self-confidence. I think that it is a great boost to my confidence level when I know what to say and how to express my ideas, be it in presentations or simply in conversations. Lastly, effective communication skills are most needed to resolve any conflict and problem. I believe that being receptive and calm can aid to resolve unnecessary arguments. In this case, if communication skills are lacking in BOTH parties, it will most likely result in a heated debate, and thus an unfavourable communication breakdown, which ultimately leads to irreparable cracks in the relationship. In situations like this, what is valuable to both parties is basic respect and willingness to listen to what the other party has to say.
Totally offensive. And this is why people need to learn and develop effective communication skills, so that ideas and meaning can be conveyed clearly without the need to be aggressive.
To me, good communication skills simply mean mutual respect for one another. This can be shown through many aspects of communication, for instance, body language, tone and manner of speaking, listening and even thought process. Body language includes maintaining good eye contact, the positioning of your body and head, your actions, facial expressions and so on. All these are forms of non-verbal communication. For example, keeping eye contact and leaning forward indicate to the speaker that you are being attentive.
Next significant aspect of communication is the tone and manner of speaking. I think this is especially important as wrong ideas can be interpreted if one uses a wrong tone to convey his meaning. Referring to the scenario at the top of the post, I understand that the person might be anxious to complete his task on time but judging from his rude behaviour, it shows that there is still much room for him to improve on his effective communication. To avoid any misunderstanding, I think it is essential to learn to speak with an appropriate tone and express our messages and feelings correctly.
To have a better understanding of the message being conveyed in words and actions, it is important to listen with your ears and see with your eyes. Some people tend to hear things but never listen. Sometimes hearing is not enough because you will tend to forget what is being said easily. Therefore, we need to practise active listening! This is an interesting article that I have found, entitled 'Seven DEADLY sins of (NOT) listening'. Click here.
Developing communication skills is important to me because firstly, I think I have committed a few of the 'deadly sins'. :p I believe many of us know the right way to communicate. Sometimes, it just takes a lot of practice to do it well. So do I. :) Having good communication skills will allow me to build closer ties with my friends and family, build stronger rapport with people and create a bigger network of friends in school and in the workplace in future. Possessing effective communication skills can also contribute to building self-confidence. I think that it is a great boost to my confidence level when I know what to say and how to express my ideas, be it in presentations or simply in conversations. Lastly, effective communication skills are most needed to resolve any conflict and problem. I believe that being receptive and calm can aid to resolve unnecessary arguments. In this case, if communication skills are lacking in BOTH parties, it will most likely result in a heated debate, and thus an unfavourable communication breakdown, which ultimately leads to irreparable cracks in the relationship. In situations like this, what is valuable to both parties is basic respect and willingness to listen to what the other party has to say.
11 comments:
Brilliant post! I appreciate the way you start with the personal anecdote and then in response to the assignment methodically work down the list of important skills. I also like the key insight:
"To me, good communication skills simply mean mutual respect for one another." Your writing is also lively while being clear and persuasive. Very well done!
Thanks, too, for the cool listening link. Overall, this is a most effective discussion.
(Good looking overall blog appearance, too! Go for the gold, woman!)
Joyce's anecdote is funny! hahaha. I can just imagine what Joyce must have felt then.
I guess alot of times, when we are overwhelmed by work and whatnot, we forget to communicate "effectively". What is more important is getting that job on hand done, and we do not conduct ourselves in the proper way. I'm guilty of that too. hahaha.
I guess in a very very brief manner we can summarise effective communication into one sentence: think before you act!
Before you act (talking, taking an action, making a decision, closing a deal etc), you have to think first (consider hidden meanings, analyse body language and tone, consider culture and background etc).
If I have to teach someone effective communication in 1 minute, I would probably just throw him this sentence (:
Love your point on mutual respect. I agree that communication is very much a two way relationship. To practice effective communication, empathy plays an important role. Being able to 'feel' ourselves in the position of the listener helps us understand the best way to get our point across.
Out of curiosity, who won the 'jabbing' contest?
i like your point on how it is important to LISTEN!!
some people just do not listen when you speak. the most annoying part was when they interrupt you when you are talking.
Active listening Rocks!
the link is wonderful too!
I agree that being able to communicate effectively really takes practice. It is not something that you can master in one night because we need experiences in everyday life to know which ways are best to deal with different kinds of people. I believe that perfecting your communication skills can serve to temper and overcome fears. It is not a secret to know that one can get better through conscientious practice like at times when you need to be assertive and reprimand your employee, you cannot forever be a nice person and accept other’s faults. But of course, one has to do it in a subtle way. That is why we need to get practice, practice and more practice to get ourselves better!
Hey Yu Ming, it wasn't really a contest. Lol! I certainly did not jab at him though I'd love to clamp my hands around his neck at that point in time. :p In the end, I did not get to run my sample, so I lost in the 'contest'!
I agree with many points stated on your post, especially the part about practice. I personally believe that practice and patience is KEY to effective communication skills.
How often has a simple discussion turned into a massive flamefest simply because either party did not have the patience to thoroughly understand what the other party was trying to say?
Thanks for the link to the article, I found out that I'm a very bad "sinner" :(
I like reading the article that u have linked. It indeed shows the real reasoning and meaning behind effective communication which includes active listening yet not blindly agreeing with what the speaker is trying to convey. It is hence important that one have to understand the fact that communicating does not simply means blindly absorbing the information presented to you but understanding and considering whether you are having the same stand as him/her.
Having different ideas regarding a topic does not mean that you are being rude to the communicator. In fact, the way you convey ur intented meaning would very much influence the outcome of the conversation as the tone of your response and your body language would be the true indicator of what you are in fact feeling.
So, in order to perform effective communication between one another, both the speaker and the recevier must have the intention to comunicate and their actions and tone must be in sync with their feeling. Therefore, NVC does play a huge part in communication! Lesson learnt: Take note of our tone when communicating! =)
Hi all, thanks for your valuable comments! There are really many factors to consider when it comes to communication between two people, let alone with many others at the same time. We are born to interact, whether we like it or not. No individual can survive alone. Due to the need to interact, we must learn the ways to interact with people of different cultures and background as Lyon has mentioned.
Dear Eileen, I totally agree with you on 'perfecting your communication skills can serve to temper and overcome fears'. I had just presented my progress report today, and I find that fear is indeed a huge stumbling block to presenting my ideas well. :S I need to brush up my skills!
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